The Nutcracker

One of the big events planned for the holiday season was a girls trip to see the Nutcracker ballet with my mom, sisters and two women that I've considered second moms since I was in fifth grade. These ladies and their families have had a hand in help shaping me into the woman I've become and it's such a blessing to have the opportunity to pull qualities and characteristics from them that I hope to emulate as a mom. The fact that they were able to join us made the day that much better.

At three and a half I wanted to make sure that Bella had the best chance possible of making it through the ballet without any meltdowns so about a week before Thanksgiving we started reading the book every couple nights and I borrowed Barbie and the Nutcracker from the library (the Barbie movie, while keeping true to the Nutcracker story, was brutal). Prior to the ballet she was able to recite the parts of the story she was looking forward to seeing so I was confident we'd make it through.

While the whole ballet was amazing, nothing was better than Bella's awe watching it. When the curtains raised and the orchestra was loudly playing, her head looked like a typewriter scanning left to right and back again trying to soak it all in. Not to say she wasn't a little confused though - about twenty minutes into the performance she asked me when the ballerinas were coming out. Apparently if you're not wearing a tutu, you're just not that serious. She also lost interest pretty quickly into the second act when al the different dancers in the Land of Sweets were performing. She wanted to dance in front of her seat, and as long as she was quiet I didn't have a problem with it. -until I turned to get her some fruit snacks to buy time and by the time I turned back around she was standing on her tiptoes hands raised above her head dancing her own ballet down the aisle... fortunately when the Sugar Plum Fairy and Prince (?) came out for their performance Bean was completely captivated once again.

When the final curtain fell and we were herded out of the auditorium the dancers were in the lobby to greet everyone for pictures, which was a really nice surprise because Bella was stoicly excited to see them up close and immediately followed her cousin Lili's lead to ask for autographs and pose pretty for a picture. I'm pretty sure we either got a picture or an autograph from 90% of the performers and were definitely among the last ones to leave. If she chooses to be a ballet roadie I suppose I should count my blessings...

a holiday girls night to the Nutcracker - makes my heart happy

for every cute picture there were about five goofy ones... come on, just. say. cheese.

Happy Birthday Baby Jesus, Timeout!

Bella loves singing happy birthday to Baby Jesus before we had my family's tradition of coffee cake breakfast. It's all super sweet and melts your heart, but my favorite part is when she goes to hit the high notes, it's so cute!

Then we had a talk about where Baby Jesus from the nativity set was, because he spent a lot of the Christmas season missing. Turns out he was currently in timeout, again. He was missing for over a week at the beginning on the month for touching the Christmas tree, and apparently on Christmas Day he had done it again. tsk tsk.

here, Joseph and the three wisemen had to have been up to something because after Bella went to bed we found them all in trouble. Timeout!

Feliz Natal!

I love that we've had the opportunity to go see the same Santa with Bella so we can watch her grow with each consecutive year. and now we watch as our family grows long with St. Nick as well! It certainly adds to it that this is hands down the best Santa I've seen - and he's legitimately great with the babies. Miracle on 34th Street anyone?

2010 - Bella 2 1/2 years, Austin 9 months

2009 - Bella 18 months

2008 - Bella 7 months

MeRrY ChRiStMaS!

My Little Patriot

Happy 4th of July!

No Slack on the Track

I’m not sure I’ve ever gone this long between posts, but I haven’t completely wanted to write. It’s been a month but I’m not able to write much about it because, however much they affect me, they’re not my stories to tell. While there have been some fun and funny stories to share (including Bella’s birthday party, a couple trips a visit from Emily, and Austin’s ever-growing gassy self) I can’t write all of it and I can't just write the rosy stuff without feeling like the keystrokes are insincere. I need to just find a way to let go of some things that weigh down my heart and that’s been a lifelong battle… *sigh*

BUT there’s something to pull me out of my blogger’s slump – Andrea’s birthday is today and she deserves to know she’s thought of and loved so this one goes out to you Sissy!

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long 'til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on

Every time I hear this song on the radio I stop what I’m doing, turn it up and sing along. Seriously, every time to a fault, even if I’m mid-conversation with Justin. But I know you know this because your voicemail box has been littered with messages from me singing to you. If I’m in the passenger seat don’t put it past me to dance along, although it’s just one half of the dance so it’s never as good as it was for our performances, but I think of you and even years ago when we weren’t so friendly, it made me smile.

I can remember vividly making up the dance, all the stellar choreography complete with handstands, acrobats, and the worm and it. was. awesome. I remember practicing in the Baratta’s basement to really wow the crowd for the culmination of the mini talent show. We never felt the need to change it up or make a new dance for the two of us, because why mess up a good thing?! I wanted to dance with you to this song at my wedding, and then was hoping to convince you to break it out at yours…. so now I figure that’s what our daughter’s weddings will be for!

Sometimes in our lives
We all have pain, we all have sorrows
But, if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow

My first memory of you you were two years-old and Will and I were at the gumball machine at King Soopers. I’m not sure what happened, likely we didn’t share or teased you for following us, but you stood there defiantly like you didn’t care (even though your bottom lip quivered and you so obviously did) and you threatened us boldly that one day we’d be two again, and you’d show us what it feels like. my takeaway from this… at least I was smarter than you until you turned three!

There’s also the home video of you running out of our shared bedroom crying and tattling on Will and I for not letting you play the 3 Little Pigs with us unless you were the Big Bad Wolf but you didn’t want to be the wolf and we were so completely unfair. There’s so much irony laced in that now, it seems like it should be funny. It wasn’t always me against you though, when we joined forces we were something to be reckoned with… or at least our super hero Barbies were as they took flight tied to the fan above our bunk beds.

Please, swallow your pride

If I have things that you need to borrow

For, no one can fill those of your needs

If you won't let them show

I’m sure you won’t be surprised to know that even now I still secretly sort of (completely) love when we’re around people that don’t see us together often and they gush about how similar we look. And as annoying as it was in middle school and high school when people would automatically assume you were older once they found out we weren’t twins, regardless the tiptoes I was standing on trying to be a little taller, I kind of loved that too because it was our thing. just yours and mine. It was an inside joke, a look between us when we knew the comments and questions were coming.

You just call on your brother when you need a hand

We all need somebody to lean on

I just might have some problems that you'd understand

We all need somebody to lean on

Through the ups and downs of our relationship, I am so happy to be where we are now as friends and confidants. It’s truly been a lifesaver. and I’m so excited to watch our children grow up and become close friends, even if they’re separated by five states and the entire Midwest, or all of Central America. I’m confident they’ll be close because of the friendship that you and I have developed as we've each embarked on this ridiculous journey of being an “adult”. and I must tell you, I'm much better off for that friendship. Happy Birthday Andrea!

Valentine's Day

Justin and I had a pretty chill Valentine's Day - it's hard to go out with Bella because we know she's 50/50 for a meltdown at the restraunt, and we figured it was a needless expense when we're trying to save right now so after a quick trip to the mall to exchange what we got each other (haha!) we opted for a quiet night in and he grilled steak and then I made chocolate fondue for dessert that we enjoyed while we watched a movie by firelight after Bell went to bed. It was perfect! I love how it literally doesn't really matter if it's a snooty restraunt or a dinner just the three of us, I feel so special and loved by my husband, he's phenomenal!

J got a perfect fire going for the night!

we laughed about what an absurd amount of food this was for two people,
until we ate all of it. every. last. bite.sooo this looks admittedly questionable, but last minute I decided to add some marshmallows for taste, but apparently you need marshmallow paste or something so I just had litte floaters in my fondue. meh.

this. that. the other.

I hope to get more pictures from Disneyworld, but my camera battery died about 45 minutes into the day (so unlike me, I'm not proud to admit it) and I need to steal Miriam's camera at some point... I was fortunate enough to capture one of my favorite moments on film - Bell's first encounter with a costumed character didn't go so well per se. When Miriam gave the giant furry monkey a hug, Bella must have thought she was going to be eaten because she completely lost her mind. I think I preferred this better than a cuddly one anyway...


We were able to spend a couple days in Florida sharing a house with Justin's brother and sister-in-law and our niece Sophia... it was really fun to watch Bella interacting with her (she's six months old) as it gave us an insight into her upcoming role as big sister. There was a lot of petting her head (the girl's surrounded by pets at home, give her a break!) and giving her her pacifier... after she took it out of her mouth.


We quickly learned that we had absolutely no need to buy anything for Bella for Christmas due to everyone else's ridiculous generosity, but we'd already decided to buy a kitchen set for her and when mama has her mind set on something, logic takes a back seat. I'm so glad Justin agreed this time too, because Bean loves it and I'm shocked at the joy I get from watching her little mind at work as she's pretending to stir the pot on the stove just like she's seen Mommy and Daddy (mostly Daddy. whatever. don't judge.)


J and I both participated in fantasy football leagues again this year and both had ridiculous strokes of good luck and he ended up winning his and I made it to finals again but then took second place... fortunately the girl who beat me didn't ever pay so I took home the pot - wahoo! So, with my winnings (and my cut from J's winnings - yes I get a cut, I put up with a lot every Sunday when he watches hours of football and is talking about football hours before and after he's done watching - so yes, I get a cut!) I bought the following. Dear Fantasy Football, thank you!

AND I just found out one of my favorite peope ever has started a blog so check her out, especially if you need a good laugh or a chance to realize you're not the only who thinks that way! she's phenominal and I've been blessed by her friendship for more than 12 years (and now I feel insanely old.) and just love her!

One Piece at a Time

More to come on Christmas and our trip to Orlando for the holidays... but we did enjoy a sunny Christmas day in Florida and a Cavs win over the Lakers! I had to share this video of Bella opening one of her presents from my parents - her concentration cracks me up!

Holly Jolly

We took Bella to visit Santa over the weekend - she did great! She walked right up to him and waved hello before talking a little gibberish... turns out that even in the midst of testing every boundry, she is in fact a very good little girl that continues to steal our hearts and expects some quality results from Santa this year and he reassured her he'll find her in Florida!

Bell with Santa last year

...and for the sake of making your hearts nearly as happy as mine - check out this old post with pictures of baking with Bella and J's family last year. this girl. love her.

M-I-C (see you real soon!) K-E-Y

The stars simlpy aligned and for the first time in three years the Cavs are playing on Christmas Day somewhere else! while we were able to sneak out for a quick trip to Colorado last year, this year the team's on the road the entire week before Christmas, all the big concerts and events are either the weekend before or after Christmas, and the boss gave the okay to take most of the week off... SO since it's our year to stay in Ohio for the holidays, the family all decided to head to Orlando so Justin's brother and sister-in-law could join us with their new baby girl. and one of the most exciting parts: we're taking Bella to Disney World! no, she likely won't remember a minute of it. no, it won't be easy with an 18 month-old. YES, we'll remember her smiles and excitement and will gladly pay admission for the 1,000 pictures I plan to take!

Birthday Weekend!

Normally I'm not a huge fans of my birthday, but Justin is well aware of this and consistently goes above and beyond to make sure I have a special day... and since he's extra wonderful he even gives me an entire Birthday Weekend! Saturday started with a morning full of Bella, an afternoon of shopping and then a birthday dinner with friends from work at Cheesecake Factory (delish!) Sunday was my actual birthday so we started at First Watch (my favorite place for breakfast) and after a quick afternoon nap for me and Bella we headed to the East Side for this huge (free!) Christian festival that encouraged families to arrive with a cooler and a blanket for an afternoon listening to Matthew West, Brandon Heath and Jars of Clay - it. was. awesome.

okay, it was awesome, and ridiculously hot. poor girl, she had a good time though!

keeping herself busy between sets...

After the long day Sunday we decided to extend my birthday weekend (like I was going to say no when J suggested it!) and putzed around in the morning before taking Bella to the zoo in the afternoon. it was especially awesome because it was another free activity as our county gets free admission on Mondays, alright! It was less awesome when a terrential downpour randomly came and soaked us to the core (you should have seen us trying to run from one exhibit to another searching for any kind of cover... me jumping over puddles so my flipflops wouldn't get wet - like it mattered since it was raining so hard anyway - and Justin trying to manuever a crying baby in her stroller, it was ridiculous!) and the day concluded with a dinner at Dave & Busters, which turned out much better than we expected because Bella was mostly content just chillin' in her stroller while we played games! Happy Birthday to me!

BIG fan of the giraffes!pointing out the fish once we finally found cover from the rain!
not nearly as exciting as giraffes as it turns out...
she did enjoy squirting the water... all that power in those little hands!
WINNER!
picking out her prize with all our winnings...

can't. quite. decide.

her new fuzzy friend! ...that she's already forgotten about :)

We Heart America (and Fireworks)

Every year since I've moved to Ohio we've celebrated the Fourth of July by hosting a bbq for friends and family and consequently I've missed fireworks for four years in a row because no one's "well" enough to drive to a park to see the action... we've climbed on the roof each year to try to see something, but nothing. ever. four years. Did I mention 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays? There is quite literally nothing like seeing them at home in Loveland - the entire city goes to the lake and the show is awesome - complete with heart-shaped fireworks (what would you expect from the land of love?!)

This year I really wanted to see fireworks so Justin packed everything up and drove us to Columbus to stay with some of his high-school friends and watch Red White and Boom at the state's capital. Their show is rated in the top-ten in the entire nation (I still liked Loveland's better, expect the finale, theirs was phenomenal). Bella did great the entire day and woke up in the park just in time for the show that started at 10:00. I was nervous she was going to be scared and I'd still miss the fireworks because I'd be walking around with her, but she absolutely loved it. She was clapping and bouncing and completley giddy! Granted, we paid for it the next day keeping her up so late, but it was worth it. Happy Independence Day, God Bless America!

my new favorite picture of Belly Bean - and she's rockin' her first ponytail!
it's kind of a long video, but I love the end, you can literally see her face light up!

a Day at Grandma's

We spent the afternoon baking Christmas cookies and my family's now infamous toffee - and Bella got in on the fun. Fuzz bought a gingerbread apron complete with a chefs hat for Bella, it was SO stinkin' cute! At the end I was talked into letting her decorate a cookie herself (I figure with a pacifier the ridiculsouy sugary frosting will stay out of her mouth)... she did awesome!

She's a very tired baker...

Our Little Elf

Dear Santa, I already have my two front teeth, but that's about all...

Bella did real well with Santa, I thought (and hoped) she was going to grab his beard or start crying or something for a unique and hilarious picture, but she was so happy sitting on his knee and bouncing as she chattered nonsense to him. He translated it into a little dolly he'll bring her for Christmas. We'll keep an eye out. She's wearing the outfit we bought with part of her present from her Farmor and Farfar, I thought it looked a little Swedish so it was fitting. Thank you!!

Good Tidings of Great Joy

I’m finally figuring it out – it only took 26 years, no big deal. Actually, I guess I’m finally really figuring it out, I’ve known the true Christmas story (sugarplums dancing in heads and Dasher and Dancer not in the picture) for as long as I can remember. BEFORE I can remember even – I played baby Jesus when I was six months old and Mary whacked my head on the wall when she was walking out for a scene. They don’t lie, it’s not easy being Jesus! (hope I’m not condemned for that one, crap.)

For real serious though, my church has been doing a series called Advent Conspiracy – this charge to Give More, Spend Less and Worship Fully. I’m going to be using all my notes from one particular service (Give More) partly so I have it to read over and over later, and partly because it really struck a chord and I want to share. Our pastor was in the middle of the sermon, explaining we are called to give more by giving things up. (John 1:14 – And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth)

The picture he painted to help the congregation grasp just what Jesus gave up and left to come to Earth I pray will always stick with me, especially during this time of year. He asked everyone to think of their happiest moment (lounging on the beach, taking in the view from a hike, etc. mine was probably when I held Bella the first time – it was surreal) so you think of your happiest moment and label it A. then think of your worst moment, the one you may hide and not share with people or the one that’s so painful you tuck it deep away and hide the key – that moment is labeled B. He said to multiply those moments by infinity and magnify it by eternity, and then you have Christmas.

Jesus left his A – the best place imaginable, heaven, where he was worshipped and it was peaceful and he sat next to his Father, for B – to be born in a stable and laid in a manger where cows had licked the troth. He left A and he came to B. He was God and He became a human being – our pastor explained it was the creator becoming the creation. for me.

Then he told a story he heard about a missionary who was leaving to go home and one of her students went missing for days, when he finally came back he presented her with a beautiful shell necklace and she knew he must have made the days-walk to the sea to get the shell. She insisted it was too much, that he shouldn't have gone so far, and she couldn’t accept it, to which this boy’s eyes shown as he explained the long walk was part of the gift. Jesus took the long walk, from A to B to become Christ. for me. for us. He left His best for my worst.

I’m not sure I’ve ever felt so loved and precious as I do when I consider this and really try to wrap my head around it. So, as Charlie Brown and simple as this may sound, my Christmas wish this year is that everyone could experience this feeling and understand and love our God for making the journey.

A better and more broad explanation of the Advent Conspiracy:

My church (with Pastor Rick’s messages available if anyone’s interested): cvconline.org

What am I Thankful for?

Happy Halloween!

It's our little Bella Bug!

for the first time ever, I see a little bit of me in Bella, it's pretty cool! ...and why wouldn't she be eating her dress?!