No Slack on the Track

I’m not sure I’ve ever gone this long between posts, but I haven’t completely wanted to write. It’s been a month but I’m not able to write much about it because, however much they affect me, they’re not my stories to tell. While there have been some fun and funny stories to share (including Bella’s birthday party, a couple trips a visit from Emily, and Austin’s ever-growing gassy self) I can’t write all of it and I can't just write the rosy stuff without feeling like the keystrokes are insincere. I need to just find a way to let go of some things that weigh down my heart and that’s been a lifelong battle… *sigh*

BUT there’s something to pull me out of my blogger’s slump – Andrea’s birthday is today and she deserves to know she’s thought of and loved so this one goes out to you Sissy!

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long 'til I'm gonna need somebody to lean on

Every time I hear this song on the radio I stop what I’m doing, turn it up and sing along. Seriously, every time to a fault, even if I’m mid-conversation with Justin. But I know you know this because your voicemail box has been littered with messages from me singing to you. If I’m in the passenger seat don’t put it past me to dance along, although it’s just one half of the dance so it’s never as good as it was for our performances, but I think of you and even years ago when we weren’t so friendly, it made me smile.

I can remember vividly making up the dance, all the stellar choreography complete with handstands, acrobats, and the worm and it. was. awesome. I remember practicing in the Baratta’s basement to really wow the crowd for the culmination of the mini talent show. We never felt the need to change it up or make a new dance for the two of us, because why mess up a good thing?! I wanted to dance with you to this song at my wedding, and then was hoping to convince you to break it out at yours…. so now I figure that’s what our daughter’s weddings will be for!

Sometimes in our lives
We all have pain, we all have sorrows
But, if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow

My first memory of you you were two years-old and Will and I were at the gumball machine at King Soopers. I’m not sure what happened, likely we didn’t share or teased you for following us, but you stood there defiantly like you didn’t care (even though your bottom lip quivered and you so obviously did) and you threatened us boldly that one day we’d be two again, and you’d show us what it feels like. my takeaway from this… at least I was smarter than you until you turned three!

There’s also the home video of you running out of our shared bedroom crying and tattling on Will and I for not letting you play the 3 Little Pigs with us unless you were the Big Bad Wolf but you didn’t want to be the wolf and we were so completely unfair. There’s so much irony laced in that now, it seems like it should be funny. It wasn’t always me against you though, when we joined forces we were something to be reckoned with… or at least our super hero Barbies were as they took flight tied to the fan above our bunk beds.

Please, swallow your pride

If I have things that you need to borrow

For, no one can fill those of your needs

If you won't let them show

I’m sure you won’t be surprised to know that even now I still secretly sort of (completely) love when we’re around people that don’t see us together often and they gush about how similar we look. And as annoying as it was in middle school and high school when people would automatically assume you were older once they found out we weren’t twins, regardless the tiptoes I was standing on trying to be a little taller, I kind of loved that too because it was our thing. just yours and mine. It was an inside joke, a look between us when we knew the comments and questions were coming.

You just call on your brother when you need a hand

We all need somebody to lean on

I just might have some problems that you'd understand

We all need somebody to lean on

Through the ups and downs of our relationship, I am so happy to be where we are now as friends and confidants. It’s truly been a lifesaver. and I’m so excited to watch our children grow up and become close friends, even if they’re separated by five states and the entire Midwest, or all of Central America. I’m confident they’ll be close because of the friendship that you and I have developed as we've each embarked on this ridiculous journey of being an “adult”. and I must tell you, I'm much better off for that friendship. Happy Birthday Andrea!