Outside Looking In

Worldess Wednesday

my sister with my nephew Isaiah.
Especially as a mom, she inspires me.

Ghost Writer

Does anyone else remember that show? It was on PBS I think and was basically awesome. I'm seriously considering walking around with a pen tied 'round my neck like they did... anything to help my new occupation.

I'm branching out at work to find new ways to cover some of the Cavs community relations initiatives and thought to bring my passion for blogging to the mix... check it out to read about this truly awesome event we did with Flashes of Hope Wednesday night. The team participated in it last year as well, and it is by far my favorite event. I'd really like to volunteer with this organization in the future, such a fantastic thing they do for pediatric cancer patients. If you want to learn more about Flashes of Hope you can check it out here, and make sure you watch one of their videos with tissue near by. I haven't made it through one yet.

First Meal

At Austin's four-month check up his pediatrician suggested we start him on rice cereal in the upcoming month. false. I wasn't ready for him to be old enough to be able to eat, and I was still breastfeeding and wasn't interested in any chomping confusion. Too much information boys, sorry! Two months later the well dried up so I was ready to try the rice cereal. I kept the box in the cupboard for two weeks and just recently we sat down to kiss Austin's days of being an itty bitty baby behind us. (lets be honest, this kid was never itty bitty, but you know...)


We're getting ready to take some six-month pictures this weekend and I'll post those along with some updates how he's doing and what he's up to, but for now I wanted to share the video of him eating for the first time. You can see how exhausting it can be having such a smiley baby all the time... love him!

She's My Favorite Smile

Wordless Wednesday

This idea for Wordless Wednesday is not mine, I saw it first on Becky Young's page (I silently stalked it when I was looking at my girlfriend's pregnancy portraits - beautiful by the way Jenn! I absolutely love the one she picked for her Wordless Wednesday today) and I see that it seems to be a trend a few bloggers are doing. Hello Bandwagon, I will be joining you.

I am restless

Rarely do I win contests or prizes or giveaways – more often than not I’m the 1 of X,XXX that gets hit by a semi-truck twice or has been on not one, but two planes that were grounded for basically falling apart in flight and a fire truck followed them on the runway to the airport. I won’t win a free car, but I will be one of three that suffers a miscarriage. Turned heavy quickly, sorry. It usually does.

For years I’ve struggled with this ridiculous concept of being content. I can list every reason I have to be blessed – and I’m telling you that list is long but that pesky horizon is always in the distance and I want to know NOW what’s waiting with it. I’m simply not interested in patience. As you can imagine my time spent in prayer (or extremely unfortunately, it’s far too long been a life without it) is much the same. I can’t be still or silent. I can’t quiet my head or my heart enough to just BE with Him. I am restless in every way, in every aspect of my life. I. am. not. still.

A few months ago I entered to win Audrey Assad’s new CD ‘The House You’re Building’ from my friend Jenn and actually won! I can’t tell you how excited I was about it, not only because for once I actually won something, but because I am always on the lookout for a new Christian artist’s CD I can wear out at work and on my drive to work. I can’t recommend her album enough – I love every song on it. There’s one in particular that stops me every time and is an automatic repeat. The first time I heard it on the drive to work I was in tears because I feel like she looked into my heart and was able to say what I’ve been unable put together with an effectively simple plea that’s been on my lips for years.

So, at a point in my life where I feel lost and confused and frustrated because doors are constantly being opened and closed and windows cracked just enough to consider, and I just want direction and concrete answers instead of a revolving door, I’m going to take five minutes every day and sit still in my room with this song in my headphones and rest in Him and trust in Him. He has never forsaken me and will guard my heart if I can manage to give it to Him. Lord, still my heart. Hold me close. Without you I am hopeless. Show me who you are.

You dwell in the songs that we are singing
Rising to the Heavens, rising to Your heart, Your heart
Our praises filling up the spaces
In between and frailty and everything You are
You are the keeper of my heart

And I'm restless, I'm restless
'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You
I'm restless, I'm restless
'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You
Oh God, I wanna rest in You

Oh, speak now for my soul is listening
Say that You have saved me, whisper in the dark
'Cause I know You're more than my salvation
Without You I am hopeless, tell me who You are
You are the keeper of my heart
You are the keeper of my heart

And I'm restless, I'm restless
'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You
I'm restless, I'm restless
'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You
I wanna rest in You

Still my heart hold me close
Let me hear a still small voice
Let it grow, let it rise
Into a shout, into a cry

And I'm restless, I'm restless
'Til I rest in You, let me rest in You
I'm restless, so restless
'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You
Oh God, I will rest in You

Be still and know that I am God. –Psalm 46:10