She's My Favorite Smile

Wordless Wednesday

This idea for Wordless Wednesday is not mine, I saw it first on Becky Young's page (I silently stalked it when I was looking at my girlfriend's pregnancy portraits - beautiful by the way Jenn! I absolutely love the one she picked for her Wordless Wednesday today) and I see that it seems to be a trend a few bloggers are doing. Hello Bandwagon, I will be joining you.

I am restless

Rarely do I win contests or prizes or giveaways – more often than not I’m the 1 of X,XXX that gets hit by a semi-truck twice or has been on not one, but two planes that were grounded for basically falling apart in flight and a fire truck followed them on the runway to the airport. I won’t win a free car, but I will be one of three that suffers a miscarriage. Turned heavy quickly, sorry. It usually does.

For years I’ve struggled with this ridiculous concept of being content. I can list every reason I have to be blessed – and I’m telling you that list is long but that pesky horizon is always in the distance and I want to know NOW what’s waiting with it. I’m simply not interested in patience. As you can imagine my time spent in prayer (or extremely unfortunately, it’s far too long been a life without it) is much the same. I can’t be still or silent. I can’t quiet my head or my heart enough to just BE with Him. I am restless in every way, in every aspect of my life. I. am. not. still.

A few months ago I entered to win Audrey Assad’s new CD ‘The House You’re Building’ from my friend Jenn and actually won! I can’t tell you how excited I was about it, not only because for once I actually won something, but because I am always on the lookout for a new Christian artist’s CD I can wear out at work and on my drive to work. I can’t recommend her album enough – I love every song on it. There’s one in particular that stops me every time and is an automatic repeat. The first time I heard it on the drive to work I was in tears because I feel like she looked into my heart and was able to say what I’ve been unable put together with an effectively simple plea that’s been on my lips for years.

So, at a point in my life where I feel lost and confused and frustrated because doors are constantly being opened and closed and windows cracked just enough to consider, and I just want direction and concrete answers instead of a revolving door, I’m going to take five minutes every day and sit still in my room with this song in my headphones and rest in Him and trust in Him. He has never forsaken me and will guard my heart if I can manage to give it to Him. Lord, still my heart. Hold me close. Without you I am hopeless. Show me who you are.

You dwell in the songs that we are singing
Rising to the Heavens, rising to Your heart, Your heart
Our praises filling up the spaces
In between and frailty and everything You are
You are the keeper of my heart

And I'm restless, I'm restless
'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You
I'm restless, I'm restless
'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You
Oh God, I wanna rest in You

Oh, speak now for my soul is listening
Say that You have saved me, whisper in the dark
'Cause I know You're more than my salvation
Without You I am hopeless, tell me who You are
You are the keeper of my heart
You are the keeper of my heart

And I'm restless, I'm restless
'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You
I'm restless, I'm restless
'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You
I wanna rest in You

Still my heart hold me close
Let me hear a still small voice
Let it grow, let it rise
Into a shout, into a cry

And I'm restless, I'm restless
'Til I rest in You, let me rest in You
I'm restless, so restless
'Til I rest in You, 'til I rest in You
Oh God, I will rest in You

Be still and know that I am God. –Psalm 46:10

Dear Morfar,

My Morfar (it’s grandfather in Swedish – by the way I’ve always loved that I have a special name for my Mormor and Morfar. something exclusive for me and my cousins with these two incredibly special people). start over… My Morfar is turning 90 years old and unfortunately I’m unable to attend the pseudo family reunion they’re having in Coeur d’Alene, ID to celebrate him.

I was thinking of a gift I could give my Morfar, something that would be appropriate for this wonderful man, and I came up short. Instead I thought about gifts he and Mormor have given me. Every Christmas growing up all the kids would wait anxiously until everyone was home so we could open the package from Post Falls. Immediately after the tape was cut, four heads would simultaneously lean in to smell the distinctive sweet scent of Morfar’s workshop in their basement. We were so excited to see what ornament they sent for each of us (our Christmas tree now is littered with ornaments with my name on them – and accessorized by a couple of Bell’s ornaments because we copied their tradition and get her one a year).

There was a purpose to this post, more than my favorite memories of my Morfar. Start over… because I couldn’t think of a gift good enough for Morfar, I thought about gifts my Morfar gave me – and it didn’t take long to come up with the best one.

I saw this video on a friend’s blog a little bit ago, and while a good amount of it was completely relatable to Justin and I, I couldn’t help but think of my Mormor and Morfar. They’ve celebrated well over 50 years of marriage, five children, 12 grandchildren and seven great-grandchildren. They’ve given us a legacy. They’ve set an example for all 24 of us of a solid Christian marriage that has withstood decades. I don’t get to see them often but when I’m able to spend time with them I watch them take care of each other and delight in the company of their family. I’m unable to put into words how helpful it is to be early in my marriage and have that example from my grandparents.

the actual fantasic music video is here - unfortunately they won't let you embed it. nuts.

So, Morfar, on your 90th birthday I have nothing to send other than my love, thoughts and very sincere thanks for the example you have set for me. I wish I could be there, and look forward to the chance to introduce you and Mormor to Austin, and have Bella make memories spending time with you. I love you and remain always, your Dana.

Plays Well With Others

When I was pregnant we were constantly asked how we thought Bella would be as a big sister. We quickly told them our "push 'em or pet 'em" theory - pretty self explanatory - I had no idea how she'd react... she's always been really good with animals and very cuddly, but when my niece and nephew were visiting I had Isaiah in my lap and Bella literally crawled up and tried to push him off. The question has developed into how she is as big sister. We couldn't be more proud and happy how she's reacting to Austin and how he, in turn, responds to her. She loves to love on him. She completely lights up when he laughs or watches her as she reads, or sings her songs or plays with her. She's so proud of her ability to trap his attention, and he's so content having her attention. I quite literally pray constantly that they stay confidants and friends - I tell her to be kind and always love him and I'm already telling him to look out for her and love and protect her.

when I bring Austin down in the morning to join Bella and Justin,
she insists he sits right next to her so she can hold him.

this was is fantastic - couldn't have posed it better if I tried (but totally didn't)

...occasionally she wants to try to feed him, not so effective, but really cute.

I caught this when they weren't paying attention to anyone other than each other.

LOVE it.

((that's it Jenn, I'm committing to a blog re-design. my videos don't fit anymore!))

To Jesus, with care.

"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him. So now I give him to the Lord; for his whole life he will be given to the Lord." 1 Samuel 1:27-28.

We dedicated Austin at church this morning. I am so blessed and thankful for the opportunity to give the Lord what is His. We were surrounded by a small group of friends and family that gathered to support us and Austin. It was such a special moment - one of the first of truly relinquishing ownership of my child and recognizing that he is the Lord's. We are blessed with the ridiculous pressure to raise him and Bella in a way that encourages them and prepares them to be servant leaders.

We were challenged the other week at church to find life verses for each of our kids... pressure! I don't have one yet, I want to pick something that I think will challenge each and play to the strengths in their personalities that are already coming through. Austin's would use his tender heart and joy he brings everyone around him. Bella's would be about her ability to reach people and bring them together with her humor and personality. and something in leadership, her fierce independent personality will certainly aid to that.